"All I Wanted to Be Was a Mother"

The following is what I wrote for my oldest son, Colin, to read at my mother's memorial service. Thank you, Colin, for your courage to say these words in front of all those people. I am proud of you.

We measure life in many different ways. Some rate success by the amount of your salary, others by the position that you hold. Some base it upon the relationships that you have, in other words “who you know and hang out with.” Many people appraise success by the gifts that you are given and the expression of those gifts in meaningful ways.

My grandmother, Arlene Matilda Rimer, was a beautiful, gifted soul. To those who knew her, she exemplified an incredible ability in music. She was at home as much with a piano as she was singing. She had a wonderful soprano voice that allowed her to sing as a soloist, ensemble member and choir member. She was gifted in music in such a way that many of us could only dream to have. She sang and played all through her High School days. She even sang for the Starlight Opera of San Diego, the Roger Wagner Chorale of Los Angeles and many other choirs and ensembles, both religious and secular.

She also was a hard worker. From her early years as an operator for the phone company, to administrative roles at several universities, my grandma was a committed and loyal worker. She was proud of the fact that she was the first female Yeoman on the Glomar Challenger of the Deep Sea Drilling Project for Scripps. Her work ethic was best seen in her ability to write grant proposals that were clear, to the point and effective.

Grandma Arlene was also a loyal person and that loyalty was best seen in her unwavering love for her family. Whether it was her parents, spouse, children or one of her beloved grandchildren, she loved with abandon. She was steadfast in that love and her pride in her family was continuously expressed even to her dying day. She was a lover and a lover that never gave up. In reality, those who were loved by her knew it and they knew it well.

Some would be happy with the success that she attained, but her goal in life wasn’t based on any of these. She was asked some time back what she wanted to be when she was younger. Maybe she wanted to be a singing star or actress or some other talented, well known person. Her response was simple and sure. She said, “All I ever wanted to be was a mom.” She was so gifted in so many ways, but all she wanted to be was a mother.

Maybe the highest compliment to the attainment of that goal is seen here today. What a great family! What a great gift!

Grandma…we love you and thank God that you wanted to be such a person.