"All I Wanted to Be Was a Mother"

The following is what I wrote for my oldest son, Colin, to read at my mother's memorial service. Thank you, Colin, for your courage to say these words in front of all those people. I am proud of you.

We measure life in many different ways. Some rate success by the amount of your salary, others by the position that you hold. Some base it upon the relationships that you have, in other words “who you know and hang out with.” Many people appraise success by the gifts that you are given and the expression of those gifts in meaningful ways.

My grandmother, Arlene Matilda Rimer, was a beautiful, gifted soul. To those who knew her, she exemplified an incredible ability in music. She was at home as much with a piano as she was singing. She had a wonderful soprano voice that allowed her to sing as a soloist, ensemble member and choir member. She was gifted in music in such a way that many of us could only dream to have. She sang and played all through her High School days. She even sang for the Starlight Opera of San Diego, the Roger Wagner Chorale of Los Angeles and many other choirs and ensembles, both religious and secular.

She also was a hard worker. From her early years as an operator for the phone company, to administrative roles at several universities, my grandma was a committed and loyal worker. She was proud of the fact that she was the first female Yeoman on the Glomar Challenger of the Deep Sea Drilling Project for Scripps. Her work ethic was best seen in her ability to write grant proposals that were clear, to the point and effective.

Grandma Arlene was also a loyal person and that loyalty was best seen in her unwavering love for her family. Whether it was her parents, spouse, children or one of her beloved grandchildren, she loved with abandon. She was steadfast in that love and her pride in her family was continuously expressed even to her dying day. She was a lover and a lover that never gave up. In reality, those who were loved by her knew it and they knew it well.

Some would be happy with the success that she attained, but her goal in life wasn’t based on any of these. She was asked some time back what she wanted to be when she was younger. Maybe she wanted to be a singing star or actress or some other talented, well known person. Her response was simple and sure. She said, “All I ever wanted to be was a mom.” She was so gifted in so many ways, but all she wanted to be was a mother.

Maybe the highest compliment to the attainment of that goal is seen here today. What a great family! What a great gift!

Grandma…we love you and thank God that you wanted to be such a person.

Goodbye for Now

My Mom's Memorial Service

Arlene was born at the Michael Reese Hospital in Chicago, Illinois on December 10, 1934 at 4:16 AM. Her parents were Thomas and Mathilda Rimer. She was their only child and dearly loved by her father and mother. She was taken home from the hospital to the family house on West Palmer Street in the Chicago community of Logan Square.

At 5 years of age, Arlene began to take piano lessons at the Chicago Conservatory of Music. This step into music was to be a lifelong pursuit in which she excelled. She not only developed a wonderful ability at the piano, but also began to express a true gift of God in her singing.

After the Second World War, “Tom and Mat” moved their family to Southern California, taking up residence in the Los Angeles suburb of Highland Park. There, Arlene went to Luther Burbank Junior High School and later Benjamin Franklin Senior High School. Arlene’s musical giftedness grew even more during these years. She sang at church, at school, at special events, on the radio, TV and in special groups like the Roger Wagner Chorale, all of which were done while maintaining straight A’s in school.

In 1953, she married Jim Prim and moved down south to San Diego County. They soon began a family together. John was born in 1954, Tony in 1955, Bob in 1956 and Joe in 1960. Four boys in six years made for some exciting times in the growing Prim household.

Throughout those years, Arlene worked at various jobs. She worked diligently at everything from Phone Operator, Administrative Assistant to Grants Specialist, working at notable events like the 1953 Boy Scout Jamboree in Irvine, California and notable places like the Scripps Institute of Oceanography, the University of California, San Diego, the University of Texas, Irving and the North Texas University at Denton. She was a hard worker who cared about taking care of her family.

She experienced challenging times in relationship through divorce and later, after remarrying, becoming a widow. Yet she continued to focus her energies on her growing boys whom she dearly loved. Her pride in her sons and their families was evident even to her last day on earth.

Though she fell ill in her last few years and never seemed to be able to recover from the physical challenges that she had, she never wavered in her love and devotion for her family. She was deeply devoted to her Savior, Jesus Christ and always lifted her family’s burdens to Him in prayer. She was significantly proud of her sons’ devotion to God as pastors and lay leaders.

In those last years, she developed a special way of signing off of a phone conversation. Instead of a simple “goodbye” or “see you later,” she would always say, “Goodbye for now.”

She gently breathed her last on Sunday, March 5, 2017 and was received into the arms of our loving Savior. She leaves behind more loved ones than almost anyone could count…four sons and their wives, 16 grandchildren and their spouses, and 19 great grandchildren. More than 40 family members have been affected directly by her life and will continue so into the future.

Arlene, a daughter, a wife, a mother, grandmother and great grandmother…we love you. 

”Goodbye for now.”