Why Do Men Spit?

College football is winding down to the bowl games and the national championship. Baseball finished recently with the curse of the Cubs finally broken. The pro football season is fast running to its end in the big game. And my Chargers are, as usual, stinking it up; the best horrible team in the whole NFL! Not to mention the MLS soccer championship around the corner, the paramount example of constant athletic exertion, where field players run on the average seven miles per game. Seven miles! (except for the goalie, my position by the way. He or she gets to watch all the other ones running around. I always like that.)

But in the midst of all this athletic expression, one thing that I have noticed consistently is that male athletes spit. Not only do they spit, but they spit all the time. In fact I have noticed that men in general spit and, yes, they spit all the time. I really haven't seen the fairer side of the athletic equation letting loose like the guys do. They may do it, but somehow they are hiding it from the cameras.

There he was, Aroldis Chapman, entering the game, spitting as he enters. Cubs win! There are the American football players standing around on the sidelines, spitting to their hearts' content. The Sean Hannity Show website has a thread that asked the question "Why do NFL players spit, but the cheerleaders don't?" One answer was another question about what they had in their mouths that they had to get rid of so regularly. But I find it interesting that the cheerleaders don't spit! In fact, if you want to go to the pinnacle of all spittle records for sports, you must look no further than soccer (the real football). Soccer players spit at the drop of a hat!

They spit waiting for the whistle to start the game. They spit during the game, kicking the ball, preparing to kick the ball, throwing the ball in when it goes out of bounds, at a corner kick, free kick or even the grand daddy of them all the penalty! Then after the goal what do they do? They spit! They spit on the bench, they spit warming up, they spit they spit they spit. They even spit in the locker room! I swear it, I've seen it.

The real eye catcher in all this is that it seems to be a male dominant human trait. I remember as a kid we used to have spit wars to see who could hawk the farthest, the largest, the "phlegmiest." I know, all the ladies reading this are all going "Ew!" in their minds right now or even out loud. Let's play "Hawk a loogie" was one of our favorite games. And the girls were never allowed to play. Why was that? I really don't know.

I mean really, all you have to do is go to the good book. That's right, the Bible! And there he is, the perfect man, Jesus, the Savior of the world. What does he do? Why he was perfect man, so he spit. He spit, folks. Jesus spit! Don't believe me, look what the Bible says in John 9:6, "When [Jesus] had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes." Not only did Jesus spit, but he stuck it in the blind man's eyes!

Now, I am not trying to be disrespectful to my Lord and Savior. I am only trying to make the point that men spit; albeit that Jesus had a miraculous reason to spit where others of us have less than noble reasons. But the truth remains. Men spit.

Why? Why do men spit? Really. I want to know, but I don't have an answer.

All I know is that my Chargers stink and all I want to do is spit.